I thought i was coming back…
But apperantly it takes a lot more than i first thought.
NOT a very exciting week i’m afraid. Been drunk – check. Been looking at girls with desire – check. Been talking to strangers – not really. So… Where do i even begin?
Oh well. Will keep it short an simple. Am kind of depressed as of late – a lot of worries around work and all that makes it hard to actually enjoy life. So going out have been more about getting wasted to forget rather than going to bars to meet girls. Plus. The American girl i have been seeing for FAR too long have been annoying lately. One girl did put the right frame to it the other night – She’s been trying to subscribe to me… She recently explained she’s in love with her ex and dealing with realizing she can never have him (oh. just found out tonight that he actually do drugs, which kind of make her a lot less appealing. and yeah. we’re not talking pot here…), i’ve been fine with this cos i still got to sleep with her a lot. And i haven’t really been after a relationship – just kicks. But lately she has also acted like i want her more than she wants me – which is not true at all – cos she’s jealous ALL the time and make a lot of fuzz about me going places where there’ll be girls. She’s even caused a scene in a work-related enviroment where one girl was hitting on me massively. Anyway. She’s always calling and texting when i’m out to make sure i’m not going home w/ anyone – but at the same time she’s not really wanting me to go home with her either. So very annoying and confusing. To make a long story short. This random girl just puts this “subscribing” idea into my head and it make total fucking sense. I call her on it and tell her off and just let her know that i don’t appreciate that kind of thing. So now it’s all blown up and yeah. Basically i will not go home with her again. I think.
Feels kind of sad, cos she’s a really good lay, she’s funny and cool – but. I can’t do with the drama right now – and whatmore – she’s leaving Sweden after summer and won’t be here much until then anyway – so what’s the point? I’ve already wasted almost four months of endless hook-ups and i slowed down my progress massively. I was just getting a lot better fast when i met her. Oh well. Beginnersmistake i guess. But yeah. She’s the best sex i’ve had and also a lot prettier than say – my exes. It’s easy to be blinded by that and figure i could just get the most out of it while it lasted – so the separation anxiety from that kind of safety is somewhat annoying.
Oh well… You live and learn!
